Kati kicked Breast Cancers A$$ – and made it look goooood!

I’ve been wanting to write a blog post about a super special session I had the honor of photographing over the summer but the timing just never felt right.  Guess what?! The time IS right – and the time is right NOW! There are TWO reasons why the timing on this is PERFECT. The first one is that October is Breast Cancer awareness month, and the second one is…. nahhhh… you gotta read to the end to find out what the second one is. 🙂

Please allow me the pleasure and honor of introducing the fabulous Kati Mascari to you. When my husband and I were first dating, I went back home with him to Ohio.  Kati and her fiancee (now husband) Paul, were some of the first people I met on our trip back. We met over at Paul’s place, hung out for a little bit, then went to the movies. I adored Kati right away (and Paul was pretty cool too) ;-). She just had a way of making me feel welcome and treated me like a friend she has known for years, her positive attitude and energy immediately putting me at ease.

This past April during a routine mammogram, Kati heard the news NO one EVER wants to hear. They found a lump and after further testing, they discovered she had early stage breast cancer. After much consideration she decided to have a mastectomy and for a little extra ‘insurance’ do 6 rounds of chemo to make sure it was all gone.

On our most recent family trip back to Ohio, I wanted to offer a family session for her but I didn’t know if she was even interested in documenting this crazy time in her life. I was REALLY nervous to ask (I didn’t know if she would think I was crazy, or if it would offend her, but I sucked up my nerves and offered). I was so relieved when she said “Heck yeah!”

We started their session with some group shots of the family – (we tried to get their dog to participate but Lincoln wasn’t feeling especially handsome that day so he was a little camera shy). After the family shots, I photographed her two handsome boys, then moved on to Kati and Paul. I wanted to document their supportive, unconditional love as well as the laughter they share.

We then moved on to Kati solo. We started with her scarf on. Then I asked if she was comfortable removing it. I could sense that she was a little nervous about being photographed by herself without the safety of her scarf.  I noticed the breast cancer awareness bracelet she was wearing and suggested that we ‘showcase’ the bracelet. She loved the idea.  (I had a feeling that if we ‘focused’ on the bracelet rather than solely on Kati, it would make her feel more comfortable). Before you knew it she was embracing the solo shots. I noticed during a couple of shots that she tipped her chin down and, completely oblivious to what was going on in her head, I said “Chin up – buttercup – these are BEAUTIFUL!!!” aaaaand THAT’S when the tears started… I was scared that I did or said something to offend her. She took a deep breath and through the tears said, “I’m sorry – I just started thinking about everything, it’s just so much. Then to have you make me feel beautiful and SAY I was beautiful….”  Well from that point – we were BOTH crying, and hugging, and laughing about the ridiculousness of everything. It was a moment that I won’t soon forget.

Below are some of the images I captured during her session. Kati being the awesome person that she is – started documenting everything about this journey on her Caring-Bridge site.  I asked her permission to copy portions of some of her entries into this post (anything in italics are her words).  During some of her posts she’d added a segment called “Bitches and Blessings”. Let’s be real here… even the most positive person in the world is going to have an ‘off’ day every now and again. BUT if that positive person is Kati, she’s going to turn those ‘bitches’ into ‘blessings. I just want share with you what an inspiration she is. And please, If there is anyone you know going through this – please feel free to share this post with them – She wants to help others going through this.

LOL! Had to put this one in – Poor Lincoln wasn’t feeling handsome…

Wait – real quick – can we talk about this location for one second?!?! Ummmm hellooooooo!!! This is Paul’s parents’ BACK YARD! Whaaaa?!?! I know right! It’s absolutely STUNNING!  We sure don’t build them like that in California!

Bitch – I have breast cancer
Blessing – I had no idea how many people truly love and care about me.  This journey will make me a better person. God gave me my husband for this reason..he is amazing.  I have a new perspective on life…good things will come of this.

Not only is Kati a super positive person – but she has a killer sense of humor…. (see photo above and quote below if you don’t believe me):
Bitch – I will have a mastectomy.
Blessing – This is MY choice and I am in control of this part.  In a year from now, I will have better boobs than Barbie herself…eat your heart out, Ken.

“Well, last night I did it……shaved my head. Well actually my CEO of Boobs, Meredith, shaved it for me with the help of Cole and Cade”….”Cole and Cade took the scissors (as Meredith helped because, DANG those real stylist scissors are sharp!) and they began to cut my hair.”

“They smiled and I smiled back.  I was so glad they wanted to be part of this process.”

“Ya know kids are much smarter than we think…we’ve been honest with them from day 1 and I think they both felt at peace and prepared for this.”

“After getting some pics of my melon mohawk, Meredith and I decided to just go for it and shave it all off…..GI Jane style.  Turns out I have a nice little shaped melon!  And the best part of all was that my kids had fun and my husband loved every minute.”

“No one cried (until I said thank you and goodnight to Meredith). Not even my MOM which tells you what a fun evening it truly was.  I felt empowered, truly. And I walked around all day today wearing my scarf proudly.  I would not have chosen this way to cut my hair, but if cancer had to take my hair, I was going to make the most of it.  And I feel I have.  I did my crying early on Saturday so that I was prepared for the melon shaving on Monday. Haven’t shed a tear since, and my boys don’t even look twice.  Except for Paul who can’t stop grinning at me.”

“For those that don’t know Paul, he has always pleaded with me to cut my hair short so he can ‘see my beautiful face and neck’.  Well he honestly loves my little shaved melon…I caught him looking at me smiling all night, and he prefers me not to wear a wig.  Do ya’ll love this man or what?”

“Even though I am positive, strong, and can find the goodness and humor in this journey, it is still scary, it is still emotional, it is still sad, it is still cancer. But even on my darkest days I will pick myself back up and stand.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I have had my bad days……this past weekend was hard for me. But I woke up today and kept my chin up and enjoyed being with my mom and youngest son.
Bitch- it’s inevitable, I will have many more bad days ahead of me. Blessing- tomorrow is always a new day”

“I still want to scream ‘WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!!???’
In the past few days I have felt intense faith, love, anger, paralyzing fear, sadness, courage and peace.”…

“I did ask about my ‘recurrence’ statistics. She said without the chemo and herceptin, I had a 25% chance of it returning…but WITH chemo and herceptin, it is only 12%! I plan to live life fully in the majority!  So it’s been a good day.”

“Bitch – This has been the most difficult time in my life, and I never in a million years thought I would have breast cancer.
Blessing – This has shown me what amazing family and friends we have, what unconditional love truly is, how strong and kick-ass I can be when needed, and just how much I have to live for. I hope to get the opportunity to help the many women who will unfortunately follow me down this scary road.”

“I can do anything for 18 weeks if it means I will grow old with my husband and see my beautiful boys grow up. Cancer seriously sucks and I am pissed off today. But ‘screw you, cancer!’ I am winning.”

“The day was going smoothly and I was fine until I got a text from my hubby. He was going to come with me, but I told him I want him at my last treatment so we can celebrate. He was having a hard emotional day (which is a lot for him to admit) thinking of all I have/will have to endure. Well that did it….I started sobbing right there in my recliner. I hate what this must be doing to my loved ones. But I can assure everyone, this will not take my spirit! I have won and will continue to do so. And ya’ll will be jealous of my new perky rack and fabulous short hair cut next spring.”

 And now for reason number TWO why this is the Perfect time to write this post…

“I can’t believe chemo is now behind me!  Can’t even put all of my feelings into words.  Was I REALLY diagnosed with breast cancer?? have I truly been through a mastectomy? How in the world did I make it through 18 very hard weeks of chemo??  Lots of tears shed today…good tears however….. “

“So as we drove away, I just thought how grateful I am to be alive….truly alive….grateful for my amazing husband, kids, family friends, my docotors, The James, Stephanie Speilman, fellow survivors, each and every single dollar that goes to cancer research and so much more.  Still a long year ahead but one step at a time.  But I will be grateful each step of the way because life is truly a gift, no matter how long we are on this earth.  But I plan on being around for a very very long time……..”

Kati – you are an amazing woman. I am honored to be able to call you a friend and cousin-in-law. Your attitude, spirit and courage not only inspires me, but has and will inspire others. I am SO thrilled, relieved, and thankful that this scary part of your life is now behind you. Words can’t even describe how honored I was to photograph you and your family during this part of your long life. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for being courageous. Thank you for  being real all while still maintaining that awesome ‘Kati sense of humor’. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!  PS. It is Breast Cancer Awareness day at the boys school tomorrow and although they weren’t game to wear a pink shirt – they did say they would wear a pink ribbon with a picture of you on it. ROCK ON GIRL! XOXOXOXO